That show? Toddler’s and Tiaras? Beauty contest for the 5 and under crowd? Bian and I sometimes come upon it right before bed (during the brushing of the teeth time), and watch it for 15 minutes as if we can’t turn away from a bloody crime scene. If this were west of the Mississippi, it would be considered all-balls-out child abuse (though sometimes it’s the kiddies who are abusive to their parents–see MAKENZIE to your right; her photo is up on the Internet for everyone and anyone to take; I’m sure her parents are psyched for the mention).
Why do shows, people, children, outfits, tiaras, fake teeth for 5-year-olds losing their baby teeth, spray tan accessories and false eyelashes, wigs from Texas (“the higher the hair, the closer to God”) all made for girls under 6 like this exist? And why are the mommies always so FAT and say “AIN’T” and want to make their 4-year-olds look like hookers? (Bian says she “looks like an American Girl doll gone terrible wrong…like something in the factory was broken and changed.”)
Does ANYONE remember JonBenet Ramsey???? I was a “stringer” for U.S. News and World Report when I was in grad school and got to go to JonBenet’s house and poke around. Yeah. She dead now. Murder still unsolved. After being a journalist on the case. I’m convinced her parents had nothing to do with it.
Want to see a beautiful child who’d knock all these girls out of the water? Take a look at my kid. (Oh right: I don’t PIMP her.)