My (former) life as the crab

Musings about life after Crabby Office Lady

Toddlers and Tiaras are Terrible things July 27, 2011

Filed under: General musings,Uncategorized — Annik @ 8:43 pm

That show? Toddler’s and Tiaras? Beauty contest for the 5 and under crowd? Bian and I sometimes come upon it right before bed (during the brushing of the teeth time), and watch it for 15 minutes as if we can’t turn away from a bloody crime scene. If this were west of the Mississippi, it would be considered all-balls-out child abuse (though sometimes it’s the kiddies who are ab4-year-old beauty pageant contestantusive to their parents–see MAKENZIE to your right; her photo is up on the Internet for everyone and anyone to take; I’m sure her parents are psyched for the mention).

Why do shows, people, children, outfits, tiaras, fake teeth for 5-year-olds losing their baby teeth, spray tan accessories and false eyelashes, wigs from Texas (“the higher the hair, the closer to God”) all made for girls under 6  like this exist? And why are the mommies always so FAT and say “AIN’T” and want to make their 4-year-olds look like hookers? (Bian says she “looks like an American Girl doll gone terrible wrong…like something in the factory was broken and changed.”)

Does ANYONE remember JonBenet Ramsey???? I was a “stringer” for U.S. News and World Report when I was in grad school and got to go to JonBenet’s house and poke around. Yeah. She dead now. Murder still unsolved. After being a journalist on the case. I’m convinced her parents had nothing to do with it.

Nice kid before; total HEATHER after


Want to see a beautiful child who’d knock all these girls out of the water? Take a look at my kid. (Oh right: I don’t PIMP her.)


5 Responses to “Toddlers and Tiaras are Terrible things”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    We dont have cable, but I seriously was under the impression that after the Jon BR case, such stuff was banned. It is gross, and should be considered child abuse.

  2. Mary Says:

    I’ve caught a few minutes here or there of that show, and it is frightening. I’d like to see a follow up show about these “Tiara Toddlers” and what they are like when they are older. And I agree – some of it seems like child abuse to me.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Thanks for replying you non-Barbies, you,

  4. maudie Says:

    i can not even believe what 5 year olds are turned into. nobody wants to be spray-tanned at age 4! in my opinion the moms are turning their kids into fancy make-up-wearing horrible little barbies and taking away a chance to be a kid. the moms are using there kids to fulfill a childhood dream, little do they know it might ruin a kid’s life.

  5. KB Says:

    Maude and I are similarly appalled. It’s very, very disturbing. Glad to know our girls get that it’s horrifying and not glamorous.

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