First lines of her new book Lots of Candles and Plenty of Cake:
” It’s odd when I think of the arc of my life – from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn’t know who I was. Then I invented someone and became her. Then I began to like what I’d invented. And finally I was what I was again.”
I think I am starting to get that. I remember who I was as a kid–I remember beign my most powerfulas a kid at age 11-12, before puberty came on. And then I didn’t know who I was. And yes, like Anna, I created someone I thought I wanted to be–should be, tried to be. And now that I’m inching toward 50, I think I’m back to feeling powerful about the real me, about who I am. I’m certainly not 11 or 12 again, but I am feeling powerful about what I want to say and how I want to say it.
This week’s “events” have certainly crystallized that. And while they’ve casued several sleepless nights, filled with dark thoughts and anxeity-driven roanings about the house, I can’t help but feel there is someting more in motin here and if I follow it, it’ll follow me.
I wonder if a fellow columnist like Anna Quindlen would dain to talk to me about this. Maybe I should just read her book.
THis is entirely surprising to me.