My (former) life as the crab

Musings about life after Crabby Office Lady

Miss you Ry – 5/16/1996-7/26/2010 July 26, 2012

Filed under: Annik — Annik @ 10:14 am

Ry - 1996

I know that my floors may be cleaner
my vacuum less active
my backyard quieter.

And I know that some will mention the Rainbow Bridge,
the place where he and I will meet again.

I also know that the bridges I cross until then
are simply thresholds into places where he no longer is
and that the vacuum
is not a piece of machinery anymore,
but a place he didn’t plan to create inside me.

What I don’t know
are the right things to say
how to say them
or when to stop saying them.

He’s with me through this time
and beyond this time
because there will never be a time
when he isn’t with me

as I cross those bridges to the backyard and beyond.

Ry - 2010


If I had a hammer…. July 19, 2012

Filed under: Annik — Annik @ 10:08 am

Peter, Paul and Mary“…I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land…”

(I don’t know why I had to jot this down this morning; I just did; maybe it’s to get rid of the earworm that found its way in and I have no idea why. It’s not like I’m listening to Pete Seeger or Peter, Paul and Mary. Maybe it’s a hint that I should. OR maybe it’s telling me to:

—Do some work that needs to be done around the house.
—Get more politically involved.
—Think about going into carpentry.
—Speaking of carpentry, think about Jesus. (I’m pretty sure that’s not it—the Jesus part, that is. “Hey Jesus, can you fix my son’s blindness? And also, we really need some shelves for our den; could you get it done by next Tuesday? Your choice of how to prioritize our orders…)”
—Start my song writing up again.
—Stop blogging and start writing. I DO have some poems to send into Blue Mountain Press. They pay $300 for the ones they use (though I’m not sure about copyright and intellectual copyright; after the Crabby thing, I’d better look into that).

So what the heck am I doing here? What are you doing here? In the wise words of the retired Crabby Office Lady, “Now, GET BACK TO WORK!”

– annik

P.S. Did you know that Pete Seeger decided to resign from his band, the Weavers when the three other band members agreed to perform a jingle for a cigarette commercial.


Mad skillz I’m working on July 10, 2012

Filed under: Annik — Annik @ 7:54 pm
Tags: , , ,

Google Analytics. Javascript. Google Education Certification. Audio/video editing. How to make the most of a Mac trackpad.Photoshop Elements.

What are the mad skillz YOU want/need?


4th of July July 4, 2012

Filed under: Annik,Daily dramas,General musings — Annik @ 5:26 pm
Tags: , , ,

Whew — been a while since I posted. Been busy detoxing from MSFT (after more than 13 years, it takes a while) and in Mexico getting pickled in tequila. Both things delightful. I haven’t felt so good since July 2010 when I was forced onto another team with a rotten manager. (By the way, anyone read the Vanity Fair article about Microsoft’s “lost decade” and “cannibalistic culture?”  I certainly felt all hollowed out the past 18 months, barely a bag of bones and stuffing.) I think it’s really true–it’s beaurocratic BS and management pitfalls that are preventing the company from reaching its fullest potential. We truly spend 1/3 of each year writing about what we did or didn’t do in perf. previews.

(And in the wise words of Forest Gump: That is all I have to say about that.”)

No fireworks in ALL counties in Colorado this year due to the wildfire danger, the wildfires themselves, and the general heat and dryness of the area. I can’t remember a summer this hot and I also haven’t heard a single rogue firecracker go off. That is unusual but maybe people are getting the message and also, here in Denver, showing some respect.

Bamboo (our hairy white Great Pyrenees/Akita/Yorkie mix) has had to be inside all day and night, getting her walks in the early mornings. Can’t even walk her at night–the temp doesn’t seem to drop until after 9 or 10.

Job hunt slowly entering the consciousness…resemu ready…search engines joined…getting ideas….getting hits…gotta start actively working on it next week when B is at camp.

Entire clan at the Zejuatanejo airportMexico was great fun and it took a while to come down from it. My folks celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary by taking all the kids and grandkids (14 of us in all) to Club Med Ixtapa for a week. Although this is not the normal crew I’d want to spend a week at the beach with, everyone had a good time and was pretty civil to each other, (A couple of minor scuffles at the airport but we were all tired and and wanting to be home so I don’t count that.)

But I have to say: I do get awfully tired of the grandma’s blatant favoritism toward the grandkids. It’s so ingrained in her that I know doesn’t realize it. But what is odd is that she wasn’t the fave in her family and so she knows how much it hurts. It’s started to affect my daughter’s feelings about her (though I haven’t chimed in at all. I’ve just watched and listened.) Just so much doting and helicoptering and constant chattering about how this one is “her prince” and this one “never complains” and this one is just “just like her mother–loves everything, is happy with everything.”  The thing is, I adore these children–they are great kids and you can’t help but love them. They’re beautiful kids who are smart, affectionate, funny. I love them so much. But the constant hovering of Granny is driving me mad and making my daughter feel very left out. I’d tell B to approach her grandma but Mom acts always so very irritated with me as a general rule (and has since I was a teenager) and in our family, we NEVER “talk things out” so I can’t exactly tell my kid to try that approach with her grandma whom she loves so much. B knows she’s loved; she just feels second (or fourth) best.

So I’m not sure what to do. I’d talk to my sister but I have a feeling it would put some sort of bad blood between us and I don’t want that. We communicate but not on a particularly deep level. I love and admire her too, even though I wonder about her choices sometimes. But she’s a great mom and daughter and seems happy with her life. And it is HER life; not mine–her choices not mine.

B told me as we were buying mattresses earlier this week and  trying them all out, one by one and then hopping back and forth between our favorites: “I’m so glad I have a happy mother.” That is the best compliment someone could give me. That when they’re with me, I seem happy. And I AM happy when I’m with B. The world is better through her eyes.