Anna Quindlen on her 50s May 10, 2012
First lines of her new book Lots of Candles and Plenty of Cake:
” It’s odd when I think of the arc of my life – from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn’t know who I was. Then I invented someone and became her. Then I began to like what I’d invented. And finally I was what I was again.”
I think I am starting to get that. I remember who I was as a kid–I remember beign my most powerfulas a kid at age 11-12, before puberty came on. And then I didn’t know who I was. And yes, like Anna, I created someone I thought I wanted to be–should be, tried to be. And now that I’m inching toward 50, I think I’m back to feeling powerful about the real me, about who I am. I’m certainly not 11 or 12 again, but I am feeling powerful about what I want to say and how I want to say it.
This week’s “events” have certainly crystallized that. And while they’ve casued several sleepless nights, filled with dark thoughts and anxeity-driven roanings about the house, I can’t help but feel there is someting more in motin here and if I follow it, it’ll follow me.
I wonder if a fellow columnist like Anna Quindlen would dain to talk to me about this. Maybe I should just read her book.
THis is entirely surprising to me.
Adho Mukha Śvānāsana January 18, 2012
I started up yoga again. I used to do it pretty regularly a few years ago but lapsed. So I took a few level I classes the past two weeks and found them…lacking in something. Too easy? Not challenging? Boring. All of the above. And at one of them — all women–there was a lot of chatter going on amongst them and even the female teacher. I felt like shouting,. “This is yoga people! Not your book club!” But of course I was in Bālāsana or Child’;s Pose and shouting didn’t seem appropriate.
So then TODAY I took a Level II class with a guy named Kila who was about…50, Hawaiian with one hell of a body and unreal flexibility and in an hour we did headstands, shoulder stands, and backbends. It seemed more like a Level III class to me and he didn’t even offer people alternative poses. I’m a little disappointed with that. From my previous practice (and the fact that my best friend is a certified Iyengar instructor), I know that you are supposed to offer “modifications” that you cn do. A couple of the ladies in there seemed genuinely…injured. Wiped out. Pissed off. And out of their league. Seriously. I kind of want to talk to him about that but it was my very first time with him so…do I have the right to ask him? I knew how to do most of the poses but that was most definitely NOT a level II class. I’ll bet there won’t be as many gals there next week. Not even sure I’LL be there next week.
I have another Level II class on Friday with a different guy. We’ll see. (Yeah,. we’ll see if I can get out of bed tomorrow…)