My (former) life as the crab

Musings about life after Crabby Office Lady

Day….6 June 18, 2012

Filed under: Annik — Annik @ 4:01 pm
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Got my unemployment info after filling out all the forms. You can do it all online which is great. I had visions of standing in line with 23-year-old mothers and their 3 snotty-nosed chil’run , all snacking on Cheetos and Big Gulps. (Opps…is my “ism” of some sort showing….?)

Just last month either the federal or state government cut down on how many weeks you could file. It appears that I can file for 26 weeks. Ha;l a year. That’s not bad. Of course I can’t LIVE on $2k a month but I think that’s the most they offer you. There’s some sort of cut-off on how much they’ll pay you and I think I hit the limit, which is sort of sad if you get laid off and you were being paid 300K a year.  So t does that mean that, if, say, if Mitt Romney lost his job (does he even have a job?) and found himself  unemployed, he cold only get $500 a week. Gosh, I find that sort of comforting…

Did I mention that futons are filled with hatred? (C’mon Clay–get here with the new upstairs air conditioner before I have to do one more night on a futon in a twin bed…)

Leaving for Meheeco next Saturday for a week with the entire family. And I do mean the brother, the sister, the 3 nephews, the 3 nieces, the two parents, the two in-laws, and my one darling daughter (without whom I sure as hell would not go). I frankly thought it was NOT a good idea for my parents to spring for a Club Med trip for all of us, in order to celebrate their 50th anniversary. And I told them so and we ALL told them so and at firsts we thought we’d SWAYED them…but apparently not. I mean, what about a nice party? But no, they insisted and while yes, I’m looking forward to it, I’m also very much afraid–and I don’t mean of the drinking water. Recently three times (first two times were from  two close, younger, relatives–over 21–and one time a good friend commented that a certain family member is very snappish to me and just shuts me down when I offer an opinion. Again, I feel vindicated that it’s not just ME who’s over-reacting but that it IS happening. I think it has something to do with competitive parenting. It’s really weird and I’m trying to let it roll off my back but I have a back made of velcro (or so it seems). Lots of yoga, Annik; lots of yoga. One of my instructors says “take all that stress and resistance and brush it to the sides of your mat…” yeah, the sides of my mat. Yeah, brush it. More like get a wind machine and fill up a crater.

I did create a t-shirt for all 14 of us to wear on the plane–it was taken in 1961 in Austria, one of the many countries my folks visited on their honeymoon. The man in the middle is, who else? Neptune! My mom used to say that he was her grandfather and we believed her for the longest time. And wouldn’t you know it, the CLub Med logo is a trident…

Front of the 50th anniversary t-shirt

Front of the 50th anniversary t-shirt

Back of the 50th anniversary t-shirt

Back of the 50th anniversary t-shirt

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Anna Quindlen on her 50s May 10, 2012

Annik - 10th birthdayFirst lines of her new book Lots of Candles and Plenty of Cake:

” It’s odd when I think of the arc of my life – from child to young woman to aging adult. First I was who I was. Then I didn’t know who I was. Then I invented someone and became her. Then I began to like what I’d invented. And finally I was what I was again.”

I think I am starting to get that. I remember who I was as a kid–I remember beign my most powerfulas a kid at age 11-12, before puberty came on. And then I didn’t know who I was. And yes, like Anna, I created someone I thought I wanted to be–should be, tried to be. And now that I’m inching toward 50, I think I’m back to feeling powerful about the real me, about who I am. I’m certainly not 11 or 12 again, but I am feeling powerful about what I want to say and how I want to say it.

This week’s “events” have certainly crystallized that. And while they’ve casued several sleepless nights, filled with dark thoughts and anxeity-driven roanings about the house, I can’t help but feel there is someting more in motin here and if I follow it, it’ll follow me.

I wonder if a fellow columnist like Anna Quindlen would dain to talk to me about this. Maybe I should just read her book.

THis is entirely surprising to me.

 

Just over a year now… September 18, 2011

Filed under: General musings — Annik @ 2:11 pm
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Annik and Ry

Annk and Ry (at age 12)

I know I already posted something about this but we saw an Aussie puppy today and so I had to write again. (And I’m procrastinating on (for? about?) I have two very important things to write: 1) 3 minute fiction entry for NPR; 2) Blog post to MSN to show them how much they need someone like me. It’s all about this book (which has gotten the press on it ALL WRONG by the way).

It’s been a little over a year since I said goodbye to the best furry pal I ever had. On August 26th, the anniversary of his death, Bamboo and I were walking in the park and a Ry Cooder song from “Paris Texas” came on my iPod. He was so with us (but the geese were glad he really wasn’t… 🙂

Every day I miss him. Less and less? No, not really like they said it would be–especially not with what’s all been going on. Yeah, it’s gotten easier but little memories I thought I’d forgotten keep creeping in (though half the time I can’t even remember what I went into the pantry for…)